


Faith

by jackmaybenimble



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-21
Updated: 2005-09-21
Packaged: 2020-11-28 08:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20963852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackmaybenimble/pseuds/jackmaybenimble
Summary: CJ, Toby and the gang play poker.





	Faith

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to and including Season 4 Ep 20 Evidence of Things Not Seen. This is how I wish the episode had played out.

Toby smiles around his lollipop at CJ's vexation as Will leaves to fetch Ed and Larry. His planetary lecture wasn't what she wanted to hear; she's determined to hang on to her belief in the power of the Equinox and he loves that about her.

"Did you know that a day on the moon and a year on the moon are the same thing?" she asks, sitting down.

"I did." he replies.

He waits, knowing she's not done. He'll wait forever if need be.

"I thought my reflexes before, in the Press Room, were cat-like." she says, rolling an egg on the table.

He grins widely at her, rolling the lollipop to his cheek. She is not known for her physical dexterity and cat-like is far from it but he loves that about her too. He knows this is the closest he will get to a "Thank You" and he doesn't mind, because it's not their way.

He sits down as Ed, Larry and Will come back in and they begin to play again. He plays with his mind half on the game; he's thinking back to the evening's earlier events. It's just as well he's good at poker; he'd have given away half the store by now. CJ begins to deal the next round and he smiles softly as she retorts that the only thing wild is the dealer, deals him a heart and calls tens bet.

"You know, you're particularly upbeat for someone who's been shot at twice in four years." Larry says.

"Am I?" she replies calmly.

"Yes."

Toby watches quietly, because he knows the serenity is real and is curious.

"That's 'cause I've got faith there, mi compadre." she replies.

He looks at Larry, lifts an eyebrow to let him continue.

"Faith?" Larry looks from one to the other.

"The substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." she replies, taking a sip of her drink.

Toby picks up a chip "Yeah, but I think what he's asking," tosses the chip down, "Bump ten... I think what he's asking is why most other nights do you think the world's going to hell in a hula-hoop, but tonight...?"

She cuts him off, "We dip twice and eat gefilte fish?" faking an innocent tone.

"Suzy Cream Cheese, do not attempt the hagaddah." he replies quietly, trying not to laugh.

"I can bless the soup too." she retorts.

He knows she can. She learnt these things for him. And he loves that about her.

"Just the two of us." she says, dealing a card.

If wishing made it so.

"Faith in what?" he replies leaning back in his chair.

"In us."

He smiles. It's an unspoken gift.

"The people in this room?" he teases, knowing full well what she means.

"And many, many, many others." She closes her eyes for a moment, then looks at him.

He sees her thanks.

He listens as Will recounts his story, becoming caught up in it.

He feels CJ watching him with a slight frown. He's laughing at the incredulity of the story and he knows it's puzzling her. It's normally this kind of thing that makes him blow his stack; bureaucracy standing in the way of common sense, and she knows something else must be keeping his heart light.

Something is.

"We failed both on a mechanical and human level." He looks back at CJ.

"So tell me again what you have faith in."

She looks straight back at him. "Us."

"Why"

"Because with what little free time he has, Will is going to Wyoming to defend one of these guys and I don't think it is failing on a human level."

He snorts. That's not really what he meant, but she's right too. He turns his cards over. "I've got ace high flush. Give me your money."

She turns hers. "I've got tens full of queens. Give me yours."

He smiles at her. She may as well take his money. She took his heart a long time ago.

He watches as Charlie runs out of the room on sight of the object of his window vigil. His mind flashes back to the moment earlier in the Oval office, when Charlie burst in, after overpowering who knows how many Secret Service agents. They all have someone they'd stand in the line of fire for. She'd jumped when Charlie had come in, and he felt her shaking as Ron called the Crash. He wanted nothing more than to hold her til her shaking subsided but, of course, he couldn't. Couldn't even place his hand in the small of her back in comfort because the temptation to do more was too great. So he'd done the only thing he could; left for his office, knowing she would have to go to hers to attend to the Press.

His phone had rung as he entered the Bullpen.

"Hey Sam."

"Toby! Thank God! Is everyone okay? There's unconfirmed reports about a shooting!"

"Yeah, everyone's fine. A couple of shots hit the briefing room."

"CJ's okay?"

"She's fine. Will and I were with her, she wasn't hurt."

"Will? What were the three of you doing there at that time of night?" Sam asked confused.

"Don't ask, Sam." Toby rubbed his forehead.

"But you're all okay?"

"Yeah. I pulled CJ to the ground. The bullets hit the window but missed her by...some weird confluence of events. Probably something to do with Equinox." He sank onto the couch.

"She's not still doing that egg thing...wait; you pulled her down?"

"Yeah." Soft. Almost confessional, a secret slipping out.

Sam was quiet for a moment.

"Welcome to the club." He said softly. "So how does it feel?"

"Sam!" Toby was exasperated.

"C'mon, Toby! Take advantage that I'm not standing in your office so you don't have to look me in the eye!"

He waited a moment. How did he feel? He knew that he wished he could have stayed there forever, his body covering her, shielding her. Obviously it would have been preferable if Will hadn't been there, but hey, it's an imperfect world.

"It's not a macho thing, Sam. You know, like I'm a big, tough guy protecting a weak and feeble woman."

"Well funnily enough, I don't think weak and feeble are two adjectives anyone could ever hang on CJ, not least of all a man who wrestles words for a living. Nor for that matter are big and tough.."

"Sam!" Toby cut him off.

"It's just….God, I don't know." Toby sighed heavily.

"I was worried she'd feel obliged to me…that it would change things between us. She didn't and it was just the same. Still yelled at me when I was stupid and let me know when I'd done something right. It's not her…it's you." Sam said gently.

"I felt like…I felt like I'd done something of real use for once. Something that mattered, something…" he trailed off.

"Something valuable."

"That sentence is missing a preposition Sam."

"Toby now is not the time for correcting my grammar…but if it makes you focus on the matter in hand, you felt as if you'd done something of value."

"I did. I felt …of worth."

"You've always been of worth to her, Toby. You just didn't see it. She's always known your value." Sam said simply.

Toby sighed softly.

"Are you in a lockdown?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. CJ's gone to her office to sort out the Press."

"They're reading her statement out now. Was it a poker night?" Sam asked nostalgically.

"Yeah. Debbie's a shark."

"The President getting a taste of his own medicine?"

"No..she's batting for his team. He's been dealing with something else. Don't ask me what, Sam, I really don't know. Given the night's events could be anything."

"Go play poker Toby. And give the guys my love. And tell CJ I've passed the bottle of coconut oil onto you." He said with a laugh.

"You what?" Toby said.

"She'll know. Bye Toby."

So he'd come back and played poker.

And Debbie's just shafted them again. Will spins round from the computer he's been using.

"Okay, I've searched "equinox" and "egg," and the news isn't good for the believers." he announces, as CJ hurries over to look.

"What sites did they send you to?" she asks, peering over his shoulder. no such site." she says, giving him a look.

"Read it!" he tilts the monitor for her.

"This has to be one of the silliest misconceptions around and it never seems to die." she reads almost sadly.

"They also send you to the Apocryphal Zone and Project Astro Utah." he's enjoying this.

"There are no web sites supporting it?" she asks in a small voice.

"No."

"And you've got to ask yourself, if no one on the internet wants a piece of this, just how far from the pack have you strayed?" Toby teases.

She gives him that look and then says "I could have sworn I saw it."

Everyone joins in ribbing her, but Toby feels disappointed for her, then turns as Ron enters.

"We're back up everybody. Thank you." he says.

"What's the deal with the guy?" Toby asks.

"He was by himself."

"He's not connected to anything?" he asks in disbelief.

"No. Just a very troubled guy who was attempting what's called "suicide by cop."

He wanted the first agents at the scene to shoot him. Anyway, thank you for your cooperation." Ron says, heading out.

"I'm heading to Andrews." Will says, rounding the desk to pick up his coat.

"Have a safe flight." Toby replies.

"I'm cashed out, anyone need a ride?" Ed asks as he puts his coat on.

"I'm going home." Larry responds, counting his meagre winnings before leaving.

Toby goes to get his coat as Debbie counts her money, settles up, and leaves.

He looks at CJ as he shrugs his coat on. "You headed home?"

"In just a minute. I'm going to let them know outside that they lifted the crash." she says, as she begins to straighten the cards.

He crosses over to her and stops as if to say something. She looks back at him and his heart aches with the defeat he can feel surrounding her. He doesn't have the words to renew her faith. "See you in the morning."

He heads out of the office and stops for a second to talk to Ed. As they part, he glances at his watch; 12:00 He smiles and heads back to Leo's office. She's sat at the table with her back to him. He can see her reflection in the window and he was right. She's giving it one last shot. And he loves that about her.

"Guys. Hey, you guys?" she whispers softly.

He can see the egg balancing and wants to laugh out loud. But instead he walks up quietly behind her and places his hands on her shoulder, looking at her reflection, which looks back at him. She gives him a smile and he can't help but return it.

"Well how about that." he says.

"Oh ye of little faith." she whispers.

"Sam said I was to tell you…something about coconut oil" he trails off, confused.

She smiles again. "He did?"

"Care to share?"

She leans her cheek on his hand in response and he places his hand on her head for the second time tonight.

"The bounty on my head must be getting huge." she says quietly.

"You're worth every cent." he replies softly replacing his hand with his lips.

She lifts her head and half turns to face him. "Were you scared?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I have faith."

She smacks his arm. "Tell Sam to keep his coconut oil. It doesn't suit you. Do you always need evidence to believe in things?" she asks.

He looks at the egg which is still standing. "Not always. Some things are unseen, unheard; that doesn't mean everyone doesn't see, doesn't hear. Though evidence can seal it." He gestures to the egg but doesn't take his eyes off her.

She places a soft kiss on his lips, lifts her hand to caress his cheek. He returns it, his hand on her head. They part gently and look at the egg.

It's lying on its side.

Toby tugs her to her feet and pulls her against him.

"If you were a religion, I'd convert." he says, wrapping his arms round her waist.

"Because you have faith." She smiles softly at him.

"The substance of thing hoped for." They kiss, deep and long.

Toby picks up the egg and hands it to CJ.

"And the evidence of things not seen."


End file.
